so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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