Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
