I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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