I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize