One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize