Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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