Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
