i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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