Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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