I wish I could punch you in the face.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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