Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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