I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
