so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize