Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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