we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
