I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
