dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize