guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
