you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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