The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
