Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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