Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
