the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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