u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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