talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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