D3 body, D1 cock
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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