I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
