I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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