he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
