the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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