i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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