Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Ambien. No doubt about it.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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