we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
