i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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