wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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