is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
