i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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