oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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