It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
