After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
