Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
