For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize