so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
