its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
