yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
