i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
