This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize