found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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