between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
