Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
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I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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