I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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