he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im part way to drunk.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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