Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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