I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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