you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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