I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Randomize
