dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
