In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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