And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Enjoy the penises
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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