My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
