Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize