I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize