I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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