im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
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I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
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Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.