just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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