Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
