It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
