try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
