turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Someone signed my nipple.
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