He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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