I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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