My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
