Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
